This morning we begin a sermon series entitled “Dysfunctional Families of Faith”. Over the next few Sundays we will be looking at dysfunctional children, dysfunctional parents, dysfunctional siblings, and dysfunctional n-laws. But we should probably begin by making sure we know what the word dysfunctional means. According to Merriam-Webster.com, the word “dysfunctional” is an adjective that is used to describe something that is marked by impaired or abnormal functioning. The word “dysfunctional” is also used to describe someone who has abnormal or unhealthy interpersonal behavior or interactions. In the medical community, the word “dysfunctional” has been used for almost a hundred years to describe something that was not doing what it was supposed to be doing. They speak of brain dysfunctions or dysfunctional livers. Social scientists have used the word to describe something that was failing to meet the expectations of society. They speak of dysfunctional city councils and diplomatic dysfunctions.
Personally, I have a much simpler definition of the word “dysfunctional”. I can describe what it means to be dysfunctional with just one word and that word is, Lewis. With that one word you are given a living example of what it means to be dysfunctional. Earlier this week, I was reminded of what a great example of dysfunction my family is. I was talking to Erin about one of my moms. She interrupted me, “one of your moms?”, she asked as a look of confusion spread across her face. I said, “yeah. One of my moms. There is my birth mom who raised me in my childhood, my adopted mom who took me in during my adolescent years, and my step mom who is married to my father. I have moms.” Erin was too nice to say it, but the look on her face as I talked to her about my moms told me what she was thinking. She was thinking, “my pastor is dysfunctional”.
My family has been dysfunctional for so long, sometimes I forget how weird we are compared to normal families. But in my defense, it has been a really long time since I have met a normal family. In my line of work people tend to open up to me. They open up and talk to me about their families. I hear about passive aggressive grannies and socially inappropriate grampies. I hear about overprotective mommas and absentee daddies. I hear about sibling rivalries and petty jealousies. And I get to hear about how all these people interact on family vacations, over the Christmas holidays, and during birthday parties. Some of the stories you tell me are tragic, others are hilarious, but what should concern you is, most of the stories you tell me are familiar. You should be concerned because, a guy who has three moms is familiar with how a family like yours functions.
Over the years I have come to realize that all y’all come from dysfunctional families. I am not saying you are Jerry Springer dysfunctional like my family, but in one way or another we are all dysfunctional. That’s why I have been kind of excited to preach a sermon series on dysfunctional families of faith. This series is about my family, it is about your family, it’s about everybody’s family. It is my prayer that we will all be able to relate to the families we are going to talk about and then ultimately see how our God of grace interacts with us in our dysfunction. Today we are going to talk specifically about dysfunctional children. We are going to take a closer look at Genesis 3:1-15 and see where all this dysfunction comes from.
To understand the depth of our family dysfunction it is important for us to review the familiar setting of our lesson. In the first two chapters of Genesis we see what a good, gracious, and giving Father Adam and Eve had. After a general description of the creation of the entire universe, we are given a more detailed description of the creation of man and woman. It begins with a description of a garden. The garden was called Eden. Eden was full of all kinds of trees that were “pleasing to the eye and good for food”[1]. The fountainhead of a mighty river watered Eden before separating into four large rivers that flowed throughout the land. With the Garden of Eden, The Father gave Adam and Eve a paradise. We are told The Father put them in the Garden of Eden to “work it and take care of it”[2]. They were to “rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground”[3]. With this work, The Father gave Adam and Eve purpose. Finally, both Adam and Eve were placed in the garden and told to take care of it. The Father said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”[4] And that is exactly what He did. Adam and Eve were well suited; they were made for each other. As bone of his bones and flesh of his flesh, Eve was Adam’s perfect compliment. The two of them were united and became one flesh. With this union The Father gave Adam and Eve companionship.
Adam and Eve’s Father was a good, gracious, and giving Father and so is ours. America is about as far east of Eden as you can get, but, compared to many other places in our modern world, America is a paradise of sorts. To an extent this is still a prosperous and thriving land, especially where we live. Georgia is a beautiful state located between the scorching heat of the south and the freezing cold of the north. Johns Creek is one of the best cities in all of Georgia. Here every amenity is available to us and crime is kept away from us. If any one of us were to host a guest in our homes from a village in the Sudan, they would say The Father has given us a paradise. In this paradise we have been given work to do. We have been tasked with making disciples of all nations, training our children in the way they should go, and loving our neighbors as ourselves. The Father has given us purpose. We live in this paradise and fulfill our purpose together. Some of us have become one flesh with another person, but even those who don’t have a spouse have coworkers, neighbors, and friends. If nothing else, we have each other; brothers and sisters united in faith. The Father has given us companionship.
The Father was and is a good, gracious, and giving Father. How might you expect functional children to respond to such a Father? Well, how do you expect your children to respond when you are good, gracious, and giving to them? When you put a roof over their heads, food on their plates, and clothes on their backs what do you expect from them? Honestly, very little, right? Maybe some gratitude, obedience, respect. Not much really. Gratitude, obedience, and respect are about the only things most people expect out of a functioning child and that’s about all The Father expects of His children.
Unfortunately, we do not see those expectations being met in Genesis chapter 3. Rather, what we see is the children of The Father hanging out with the one being in all the universe who hates The Father the most. “1 Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”, the satanic serpent asks. In so doing he subtly seeks to introduce doubt into the minds of The Father’s children. For, what good, gracious, and giving Father denies His children that which they desire? “2 The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, 3 but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’”” “The Father is lying to you”, the satanic serpent alleges. The Father knows “5 when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” The accusation being, “He is not a good, gracious, and giving Father. He is an evil, cruel, and selfish Father!”
Being “like God” appealed to The Father’s children. With their eyes they desired that which was forbidden. With their hands they defied that which had been commanded. With their mouths they disregarded the consequences of their actions. Sin seeped into their hearts and minds poisoning their virtue and polluting their morality. Their feelings had been compromised, their thoughts became clouded, their opinions corrupted by the sin that now saturated their souls. Now they wanted to be gods. They wanted to do whatever they wanted to do. They wanted to satisfy desires and satiate pleasures. From now on they would be the ones who would decide what was to be considered good and what was to be considered evil. For they were now the gods of their own universe!
Later, when The Father confronts them and their god complex was shattered by their guilt we see just how dysfunctional these children had become as they seek to justify their sin and make excuses for their transgression. Adam attempts to shift the blame off of himself onto either Eve or The Father. “12 The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” Eve decides to play the part of a helpless victim who can’t be held accountable for her actions. “13 The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”
Sound familiar? In the same way the satanic serpent subtly tempts us. He shows us things that are pleasing to our eyes and suggests that they are not as bad for us as the Father says they are. He calls drunkenness, “letting off some steam”. He calls gluttony, “fine dining”. He calls pride, “self-confidence”. He calls lust, “being flirtatious”. He calls laziness, “me time”. With our eyes we desire that which is forbidden. With our hands we defy that which has been commanded. With our mouths we disregard the consequences of our actions. Sin saturates our souls and we imagine ourselves gods who get to decide for ourselves what is to be considered good and what is to be considered evil. “Who are you to judge me”, we scream. “I have the right to do what makes me happy”, we shout. For we have become the gods of our own universe!
Later, when we are confronted by The Father, or one of His representatives, and our god complex has been shattered by our guilt we try to justify our sins and make excuses for transgressions. In so doing, we show ourselves to be dysfunctional children.
How do you think The Father should respond to such dysfunctional children? Thankfully, The Father does not respond to His dysfunctional children the way we deserve or expect. The Father’s children “8 heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden.” But The Father called to His children “9“Where are you?” The Father asked His children, “11 Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?” This is one of the most beautiful sections of scripture in all the bible. The Father went to His children, though they hid from Him. The Father called to His children, though He knew where they were. The Father questioned His children, though He knew what they had done. Why? Because that’s what good, gracious, and giving Father’s do. They seek out their dysfunctional children, they open up lines of communication with them, they give them an opportunity to confess what they have done.
This is what the Father does for you and me in the midst of our dysfunction. Our guilt and shame make us want to run and hide from God, but The Father knows where we are, He knows what we have done, and He gives us the opportunity to confess... “I ate” or “I thought”, “I said”, “I did”, I sinned.
Our good, gracious, and giving Father provides us the opportunity to confess our dysfunction. But The Father does even more than that. Despite the dysfunction of His children, the good, gracious, giving Father allows the satanic serpent to strike the heel of His one and only functional child so that His dysfunctional children who have eaten from the forbidden fruit; who have sinned… might be saved. To the satanic serpent The Father said, “I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel.” And when Jesus died on the cross to pay for our sins that is exactly what happened.
Our Father is good, gracious, and giving. In response, we might show Him a little gratitude, give Him our obedience, and offer Him our respect. May the Holy Spirit equip all the children of The Father to that end. Amen.
[1] Genesis 2:9
[2] Genesis 2:15
[3] Genesis 1:28
[4] Genesis 2:18