Bitterness is one of the five taste sensations and is one that humans are particularly sensitive to. The ability to detect bitterness protects us from toxic plants and other dangerous substances, which often taste bitter. A typical reaction to tasting bitter food is a strong desire to spit it out. Ask the children I just tricked into eating unsweetened chocolate during our children’s sermon. That probably shouldn’t have brought me as much pleasure as it did to see them bite into 100% Cacao. Those poor things will probably never accept candy from me again. But I hope they have a better idea of how distasteful our sin is to God.
Having a bitter taste in your mouth is bad enough but having a bitter taste in your heart is even worse. Today I want to talk to you about bitterness that is found in the heart. To guide our conversation, we are going to take a look at Ruth 1:3-22. There we meet a mother-n-law whose heart is so full of bitterness that she says to her friends, “20… call me Mara” (a Hebrew word that means bitter).
This mother-n-law was not always a bitter woman. There was a time, not too long ago, when people called her Naomi (a Hebrew word that means pleasant). Naomi’s life was full of blessings. She was married and had two sons. Her Husband’s name was Elimelech (a Hebrew word that means God is King). They lived during the time of the judges; a time that is more than once described with the phrase “in those days Israel had no king; everyone did as he saw fit.”[1] It is refreshing to learn that at least one family at this time recognized that Israel did have a king and that king was God. I am not sure we know what Naomi’s sons’ names were, their real names I mean. In our text her boys are called Mahlon (a Hebrew words that means sick) and Kilion (a Hebrew word that means wimpy). I fear these names are a foreshadowing of some unpleasantness to come. But before we get into the foreshadowed unpleasantness, in verse 2 we are told Naomi and her family “2 were Ephrathites from Bethlehem, Judah”[2]. This detail, at the start of our account, is a foreshadowing of the ultimate blessing that made Naomi’s life so pleasant. It is hard to hear the words Ephrathah and Bethlehem spoken together and not think of the prophecy in Micah 5:2, “But you, Bethlehem Ephrathah, though you are small among the clans of Judah, out of you will come for me one who will be ruler over Israel, whose origins are from of old, from ancient times.” But I am getting a little ahead of myself…
During a time of famine, Naomi and her family decide to leave Bethlehem for the more prosperous country of Moab. Here is where our lesson begins and Naomi’s pleasantness ends. In verse three we read, “3 Now Elimelech, Naomi’s husband, died, and she was left with her two sons.” It is not at all surprising that our lesson on bitterness begins with death. The death of a loved one has caused more than one family of faith to struggle with feelings of bitterness. But at least Naomi still had her children. Mahlon and Kilion find wives among the Moabites and the family enjoys some happiness, at least for a time. In verse five we read, “5 both Mahlon and Kilion also died, and Naomi was left without her two sons and her husband.” It is at this point that Naomi doesn’t feel so Naomi anymore. This loss of first her husband than both of her sons and the pain and sorrow associated with those losses is where bitterness begins to take root inside her heart.
It is probably a good idea for us, at this point, to pause the account and see if we can relate to Naomi. You see I don’t think it is fair for us to vilify this poor woman as if she has inexplicably turned to the dark side. Naomi is a faithful believer. You see her faith in her acknowledgement that blessings come from the LORD, you see it in the blessings that she prays the LORD give her daughters-n-law, and you see it the tears of affection she sheds for them. Naomi is a good woman. It’s unfair to see her as some bitter old hag, because honestly, if we were in her sandals, I am not sure our reactions would be all that different than hers.
Let’s try to put ourselves in her sandals for a moment. Losing a loved one is painful. Losing all your loved ones, I imagine, is excruciating. If everyone you loved died, I wouldn’t be surprised if seeds of bitterness didn’t take root in your heart. But to really relate to Naomi we need to understand what the death of her husband and two sons meant for her socially and economically as well. It is a mistake to think of women as weak and helpless. Even in a male dominated culture, like the one Naomi lives in. Even in the time of the judges we read about such powerful women as Deborah. However, it was incredibly uncommon for a woman at this time and in this culture to have her own means of income. Most women depended on their husbands to be the bread winner of the family. Further there were not retirement communities or nursing homes for the elderly to live in. Instead both men and women depended on their children to take care of them when they were old. So, when Naomi lost both her husband and her children, she also lost her source of income and retirement plan. Now try to imagine that. Try to imagine that in addition to the death of almost everyone you love, you also get fired from your job, your pension fails, your stocks tanks, and your retirement plan disappears. How would you feel? Do you understand a little better how bitterness began to take root in Naomi’s heart?
Things like death and disaster which cause thoughts of fear and frustration, which lead to feelings of anxiety and anger are where bitterness is born. All bitterness starts out as hurt or pain. That is not to say it is wrong to be hurt or in pain. That is not to say that emotions of anxiety and anger are always sinful. That is not to say that thoughts of fear and frustration are only evil all the time. A faithful believer may understandably think these thoughts and feel these feelings when death and disaster visit their home. Such thoughts and feeling in and of themselves are not necessarily wrong, but it is good for us to know that such thoughts and feelings are fertile soil in which the seeds of bitterness can grow.
Let’s take a look at what bitterness does to Naomi and see why it is something we will want to guard our hearts against. When Naomi is trying to convince her daughters-n-law that they would be better off without her she says to them, “13 It is more bitter for me than for you, because the LORD’s hand has gone out against me!” When Naomi returns to Bethlehem, she tells her friends, “20 Don’t call me Naomi,” ... “Call me Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very bitter. 21 I went away full, but the LORD has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi? The LORD has afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me.” The words that come from her mouth reveal the bitterness that has taken root in her heart. Naomi has allowed her hurt and pain to sour her soul against her God of grace. She sees her God as One who empties, afflicts, and destroys. She feels she has been unjustly wronged by Him and abused by Him and she resents Him for it. “20 Don’t call me Naomi,” she told them. “Call me Mara.”
Bitterness can cause even a faithful believer to resent God. Even a faithful believer like you. “God, how could you let… why did you allow… where were you when… don’t you care that I…”. Bitterness is one of the most toxic sins that you can allow to take root in your heart. If left unchecked and allowed to grow, bitterness will destroy the relationship you have with your God.
Despite Naomi’s bitterness, her God of grace did not spit her out of His mouth. Instead He sweetened her with His love. We see the love of God in this chapter and the ones that follow. First, we see the love of God shinning from the face of the Moabite girl named Ruth. God does not leave Naomi to suffer hurt and pain alone. Ruth is there showing her mother-n-law kindness as she grieves. Ruth is there confessing her faith in the one true God. Ruth is there to support her mother-n-law every step of the way. Ruth tells her mother-n-law, “16 Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.” Through Ruth, Naomi’s God of grace was showing her that He is kind and compassionate, faithful and true, an ever-present help in time of trouble. And that is just what we see in chapter one. Those of you who are familiar with, what Paul Harvey calls, “the rest of the story” know how much more God shows His love to Naomi and to you and to me and to all who have ever allowed the sin of bitterness to take root in their hearts. In chapter two our God of grace introduces Ruth to Boaz, a wealthy landowner in Bethlehem and the family’s kinsman-redeemer. In chapter three the two become acquainted. In chapter four the two are married, Ruth gives birth to a son named Obed who is the father of Jesse, the father of David, and Naomi holds an ancestor of the Savior in her arms. This account begins with a reference to the little town of Bethlehem and it ends with a reference to King David from whose house and line the Savior of the world would come. Naomi’s God of grace did not spit her out of His mouth. Instead He sweetened her with His love.
Despite our sin of bitterness, our God of grace does not spit us out of His mouth either. Very often when we are hurting or in pain, He surrounds us with people like Ruth. Through those people our God of grace shows us that we have a kind and compassionate, faithful and true, and ever-present help in time of trouble. In the faces of the people who surround us in our times of hurting and pain we see the love of our God of grace shinning on us. But where we see the love of our God of grace shine the brightest is in the face of Naomi’s greatest grandson. Jesus took the cup full of our iniquity His Father set before Him and He drank it to its bitter dregs so that you and I might be forgiven our every sin. Our God of grace does not spit us out of His mouth. Instead He sweetens us with His love.
With the account of Naomi and Ruth we conclude our sermon series on Dysfunctional families of faith. My prayer throughout this series has been that you have been able to identify with Adam and Eve, Jacob and Esau, Joseph and his brothers, and Naomi and Ruth. I pray that you have noticed that even very faithful families suffer from sinful dysfunctions. I want you to know that the stuff going on in your life, the sin you struggle with, be it pride, favoritism, jealousy, or bitterness, God’s faithful families have been struggling with this stuff for thousands of years. Unfortunately, your family is no different that the families of Adam and Eve, Jacob and Esau, Joseph and his brothers, and Naomi and Ruth. But more than the dysfunctions that that our families of faith share, I pray that you have seen your God of grace hard at work forgiving the sins of Adam and Eve, Jacob and Esau, Joseph and his brothers, Naomi and Ruth, and you and me.
May our God of grace never cease to be hard at work in our dysfunctional families of faith. Amen.
[1] Judges 17:6, Judges 21:25
[2] Ruth 1:2