When discussing the conflict that exists inside every Christian, I like to tell a story about a lighthouse in northern Wisconsin that towers high above the frigid waters of the great lakes. It was built to guide the massive cargo vessels that navigate their way in and out of a deep channel that leads to the open waters of lake Michigan. It has become, however, a rite of passage for the residents of the little Wisconsin town of Peshtigo.
My boys first learned about the lighthouse years ago when visiting their aunt on vacation. Their older cousin captivated them with tales of courage and bravery. He explained how only those who possessed a certain amount of intestinal fortitude would throw caution to the wind and leap from the heights of the lighthouse to plummet perilously into the frigid depths below. He then led them to the lighthouse and invited them to jump, asking, “Do you have what it takes to become a man?” My young boys knew they were standing on the precipice of manhood, all they had to do was marshal the courage to jump. That day two of my boys found the courage to jump. But one boy remained atop the lighthouse, little Elijah was not yet ready to become a man.
When we returned to my sister’s a year later, Elijah was determined to join his brothers in manhood, he was after all now 5 ¾ of a year old. However, when we got to the lighthouse and he once again saw the height he would jump from and the depth he would plunge into, he was once again conflicted. Knowing how badly he wanted to be like his brothers, I tried hard to convince him; I encouraged; I bribed. A few times he toed the line but each time he lost his courage. I could see the conflict on his face. He wanted to jump, he wanted to be a man like his brothers, but fear gripped him something fierce. Finally, at the last moment, as the sun was setting on our endeavors, he gave it one more try. With all of his cousins cheering him on, his brothers treading water below, his momma behind the camera, and his daddy holding his hand he ran to the edge of the lighthouse and leapt into the air, with a look of triumph and terror on his face he flew through the air before plummeting into the icy waters below. He emerged from the depths of Lake Michigan to the sounds of thunderous cheers of the spectators that had gathered. A smile spread across his face. Little Elijah had become a man.
On the way home we discussed the momentous occasion. I asked Elijah, “So, buddy, what made you decide to jump.” He explained his conflict by saying, “well my good brain wanted me to jump. But my bad brain made me afraid to jump. I just stopped listening to my bad brain and my good brain said jump, so I jumped.” Other than the disturbing realization that our 5-year-old either hears voices in his head or has some sort of split personality thing going on my wife and I were tickled by his description of his internal conflict.
Elijah’s description of a “good brain” and a “bad brain” telling a person to do two different things is a pretty good description of life as a Christian. From the moment you were brought to faith there has been a conflict raging inside of you; a battle of sort between what Elijah would call your “good brain” and your “bad brain”. In Romans 7:15-25 saint Paul articulates the conflict between our “good brain” and “bad brain”. In verse 15 Paul describes the conflict like this, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.”
In order to understand the conflict that exists inside the Christian, let’s first examine the “good brain”. Your “good brain” is a product of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit created your “good brain” through the preaching of the gospel and the administration of the sacraments.
Your “good brain” clings to the promises of God, like the one in Mark 16:16 where Jesus says, “Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved”. Your “good brain” believes that when Jesus died on the cross, He paid for every single one of your sins. You no longer stand before God as a lost and condemned creature, rather through Jesus you have been redeemed; you have been bought back. As a result, a seat at the heavenly banquet table has been reserved for you and a mansion inside the pearly gates is being built for you.
In response to your Savior’s gift of forgiveness and salvation your “good brain” wants to express its gratitude. That is why Paul says in verse 18, “I have the desire to do what is good” and in verse 22, “For in my inner being I delight in God’s law”. Your “good brain” desires to do good, it delights in God’s law; It wants to love the Lord your God above all things, it wants to love its neighbor as yourself. Your good brain wants to do the good things that God has prepared in advance for you to do.
Your “good brain’s” desire to do good is a good thing, but it is this desire that causes conflict. You see, inside of all of us there is also what Elijah would call a “bad brain”. Your “bad brain” is a result of sin’s curse. When the devil convinced Adam and Eve to doubt the promises of God, they became infected with sin. They passed this infection on to their children and to their children’s children.
As the sinful descendants of Adam and Eve all of us have been born with a “bad brain”. In verse 18 Paul tells us “nothing good lives” in the “bad brain”. In verse 19 Paul tells us the “bad brain” prevents him from doing good and causes him to do the “evil I do not want to do”. In verse 21 he writes, “So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me.” Paul tells us that his “bad brain” stains, infects, contaminates everything he does. You see even though the Holy Spirit has created a “good brain” inside of you the “bad brain” remains and the “bad brain” stains everything you do. Have you ever noticed that? Have you ever done a good deed and then find yourself looking around to see who is watching? Have you ever given a generous offering and then puff up with pride? Have you ever overcome a temptation and then celebrate like a Pharisee? The “bad brain” stains, infects, contaminates everything we do.
Paul says this conflict between his “good brain” and his “bad brain” is like a war being waged inside of him. In verse 24 you get a sense of how weary this war has made him as he cries out, “What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? We understand Paul’s frustration. The constant conflict inside of us wearies us. And after years of dealing with the conflict between our “good brain” and our “bad brain” it is easy for us to begin to think there is something wrong. The devil would have us believe that true Christians; the really Christ-y Christians don’t deal with the kinds of conflicts we deal with. The devil would have us believe these conflicts are an indication that either something is wrong with us or worse, something is wrong with God.
But the truth is, the conflict between your “good brain” and your “bad brain” is a good thing. God never tells us that our life as a Christian is going to be without conflict. In fact, God tells us to expect conflict. In our gospel lesson for today Jesus invites the “weary” and the “burdened” to come to him for rest. The truth is as long as we have both a “good brain” and a “bad brain” inside of us we are going to have conflict but that conflict, wearisome though it be is a good thing. You see the conflict inside of you is not the result of something that is wrong. The conflict inside of you is the result of something that is right. Before the Holy Spirit created the “good brain” inside of you, you did not have the desire to do what is good and you did not delight in God’s law. You did not have a conflict. You had but one brain; the bad brain and you were content to do evil. But now that the Holy Spirit has created a “good brain” inside of you there is a desire to do good and delight in God’s law; there is wonderful conflict inside of you. There is a conflict inside of you because you are a Christian. It is when you stop being conflicted that you should be concerned. It is when there is no longer a “good brain” to wage war against the “bad brain” that you should be worried. Only a Christian feels conflict between the good they want to do and the evil they do not want to do. That you have such a conflict inside of you is a good thing.
At least it is for now. There will come a day when the conflict inside of you will be resolved. There will come a day when you be rescued from what Paul calls in verse 24 “this body of death”. Eventually it will be time for you to take your seat at the banquet table. Eventually your mansion will be completed. Eventually Jesus Christ our Lord will return and our minds that are currently conflicted we be permanently at peace.
There will come a day when your “good brain” is your only brain. But that day is not this day. This day is full of conflict. But those who understand the difference between what the 5-year-old theologian called the “good brain” and the “bad brain” are not troubled by the conflict. Rather, we thank God for our conflict because it means that our “good brain” is a war with the sin that lives inside of us. Thank God we are conflicted. Amen