Not I, Lord?[1]
In that upper room on Maundy Thursday, Jesus spoke many, many comforting things to his disciples as he prepared them for the fierce trial of faith that they would undergo the next day— watching Him, their teacher and Lord, hang in agony on the cross. But Jesus also dropped a couple of bombshells on his disciples that night as well.
One of them was this: While they were half-joking around about which one of them was the best of the disciples, Jesus, the Son of God, quietly got up and began to wash their feet, doing the work of a common household servant. I imagine it was pretty quiet all of a sudden; perhaps all they heard was the gentle splash of water in the bowl as each awaited his turn in ashamed silence. Actions sometimes speak louder than words, don’t they?
But then, a second—even bigger—bombshell. As they began their last meal together, Jesus became visibly agitated and then just said it: “21 I tell you the truth, one of you will betray me.” Boom! . . . And more silence. Matthew tells us, “22 They were very sad and began to say to him one after the other, “Surely not I, Lord?”
The disciples are relatively certain they would never do such a thing, they love Jesus, they have followed him from town to town village to village, they have confessed Him to be the Christ the Son of the living God. Yet they know He has the ability to read their hearts and they cannot help but wonder if He sees something inside of them that they do not see. Do you not wonder the same thing?
As we know, Judas was the one who betrayed Jesus for 30 pieces of silver. Even though Judas had seen Jesus walk on water, heal the sick, and feed thousands, even though Judas had been sent out as a missionary by Jesus, preached the gospel, and was given the power to perform miracles in Jesus’ name, even after all of that, Judas betrayed Jesus. We might wonder how he could do it? How could one who was loved so much do such a thing? How could Judas betray Jesus?
But before we fill ourselves with righteous indignation of this betrayal, we should pause to consider Judas is not the only one who has betrayed Jesus. There are others, many others who have betrayed Him. They are the ones who have had the waters of baptism poured upon them. They are the ones who have been brought up in the training and instruction of the Lord. They are the ones who have heard the words of everlasting life. They are the ones who have been told to go and make disciples of all nations, they are the ones who preach the Word from pulpits both public and private. They are the ones who have been entrusted with the very power of God. Judas is not the only one to betray Jesus, you and I have betrayed him.
“Surely not I?”, we protest. Yes, it is you. Yes, it is me. We betray Him with our thoughts – thoughts of anger, thoughts of greed, thoughts of jealousy. We betray Him with our words – blasphemies, profanities, and deceptions. We betray Him with our actions – We take advantage of the weak, manipulate the trusting, and exploit the vulnerable. “Surely not I?” Yes you. Yes me. With every sinful thought, word, and action we betray Jesus.
Judas left the upper room in despair. After he betrayed Jesus with a kiss his guilt consumed him, and he went out and hung himself. But, my friends, we do not need to leave this room in despair. Even though we are as guilty as Judas, our guilt need not consume us. We must simply do what Judas failed to do. We must turn to Jesus in repentance. We must confess that we have sinned against Him; betrayed Him with our thoughts, words, and actions.
When sinners turn to Jesus in repentance, do you not what they find? They find forgiveness. Take another look at verse 24 of our gospel lesson. There Jesus says, “24 The Son of Man will go just as it is written about him.” Jesus calls Himself the “Son of Man”. He reminds us that true God made the choice to become also true man. In so doing He allowed Himself to be tempted in every way just as we are yet was without sin.[2] He was tempted with thoughts of anger greed and jealousy. He was tempted to speak blasphemies, profanities, and deceptions. He was tempted to take advantage, manipulate, and exploit. Yet not once was He guilty of such a betrayal.
Not only did He live perfectly in our place, but He also offered His life as a sacrifice in our place. Even though He was surrounded by betrayers, Jesus said “He would go just as it is written about Him.” You know where He went. He went to Calvary where Moses told us the serpent would strike his heel[3], where the prophet Isaiah told us He would be led like a lamb to the slaughter[4], where king David told us men would pierce His hands and feet and He would be forsaken by God.[5] Jesus went, “just as it was written about Him” so that your every sinful thought, word, and action would be paid for. He went “just as it was written about Him” so that those who are guilty of betrayal would be forgiven.
“Even I, Lord?”, we hope. Can even I be forgiven? Even a person like me whose thoughts are darker than most? Can even I be forgiven, I whose words have hurt my fellow man and offended my God? Can even I whose actions are so shameful, can even I be forgiven? Even I, Lord? Yes, you. Yes, me. We who have betrayed Him have been forgiven by Him.
Thank you, Lord. Amen
[1] Series by Keith Wessel
[2] Hebrews 4:15
[3] Genesis 3:15
[4] Isaiah 53
[5] Psalm 22