In our gospel lesson today, Jesus is attending a wedding at Cana in Galilee. Reading about Jesus at a wedding made me think of my own wedding. I was given three decisions. Out of everything that needed to be done in preparation for what was turning out to be the event of the century I was told I would be allowed to make 3 decisions for her wedding. Yes, I said “her” wedding. I know engaged woman tell their fiancés that she is planning “our wedding” but any married man will tell you it is her wedding. So, at her wedding I was allowed three decisions. I thought long and hard about what my three decisions should be. I could pick the flowers? But I know nothing about flowers (to me everything is a crape myrtle). I could pick the music? But this (my body) was not built to dance. I decided to start simple. I decided at my wedding there would be a punch bowl. Everybody likes punch. But I didn’t want just any old punch bowl. I wanted a punch bowl that had one of those cupid statues in the middle that spits the punch out. I could see my punch bowl clearly in my mind. It was going to be glorious. I presented my bride to be with my first wedding decision... I no longer had three decisions.
It was at that moment that my future mother-n-law showed a gleam in her eye like I had never seen before. Almost as if she had been waiting for this moment her entire life. Three ring binders appeared from nowhere; lists and pie charts and graphs and timetables. At that moment Mrs. Holtz was the happiest woman in the world for she had become a wedding planner and she was going to do everything in her power to make her daughter’s fairytale come true. The neighborhood woman must have sensed a wedding was in the air. Soon the house started to fill with women, some of whom I had never seen before, a few, I think, were just strangers who had been passing by the house and sensed that a wedding was being planned. These women brought catalogues and magazines, swatches of fabric and samples of cake and none of them, not a single one of them, thought my punch spitting statue was a good idea.
I don’t think that men can ever fully understand the effect a wedding has on the mind of a woman. A man thinks a group of his buddies will show up one day and he will get married to a woman. He doesn’t realize he is about to participate in a year long process that culminates in a fairytale fantasy full of cummerbund and boutonnières and an assortment of things borrowed and blue. I don’t know what it is about weddings, but they have a way of bringing the crazy out of a woman. Dresses and decorations, flowers and food, seating arrangements and music, flower girls and ring bearers, and a plethora of other details are obsessed over; stressed over all in an attempt to recreate the kind of fairytale wedding Walt Disney himself would be proud of.
From a man’s point of view women get goofy about weddings. And I mean no disrespect to the blessed mother of our Lord, but it appears Mary is no exception. Saint John tells us, “1 On the third day a wedding took place at Cana in Galilee. Jesus’ mother was there, 2 and Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. 3 When the wine was gone, Jesus’ mother said to him, “They have no more wine.” Let me set the scene for you.
To the Israelites, a wedding was not just a reenacted fairytale. The pious among them fasted before a wedding and confessed their sins. The wedding was almost regarded as a sacrament. Indeed, it almost seems as if the relationship between groom and bride, even at that time, symbolized the union between the Messiah and His church. As a result, the preparations for a wedding were as obsessed over and stressed over as they are today. Maybe even more so because instead of one fairytale evening, as is our custom today, often an Israelite wedding would last for 7 days and it was the responsibility of the wedding hosts to provide their gusts with provisions for the entire time. Having to anticipate a week’s worth of thirst for one’s wedding guests explains how easy it could be to run out of wine. Still such a lapse in preparation would not just be embarrassing for the hosts, a family who was guilty of such a social faux pa could actually be fined! Running out of wine could be costly both socially and financially.
Well, Mary did what any woman would do in the midst of a matrimonial crisis such as this. She consulted her wedding planner. She says to Jesus, “They have no more wine.” You understand why Mary would turn to Jesus for help in a moment of crisis. 30 years had passed since the angel Gabriel had appeared to tell her that her miraculously conceived Son would “be called the Son of God”[1]. 18 years had passed since her adolescent Son amazed the Jerusalem Rabbis as He went about His Father’s business[2]. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart[3]. At the Wedding in Cana, Mary came to her Son because she knew He could help. We don’t fault her for that, rather, we commend her for it. But it does seem as though Mary was unclear about her son’s purpose. Her confusion is completely understandable. Mary’s culture taught her that the Messiah was going to overthrow the Romans, rally the scattered tribes of Israel, and re-establish the kingdom of David. In short, Mary’s culture taught her that the Messiah would make her life better; kind of like a wedding planner.
We don’t blame Mary for treating Jesus like a wedding planner, at least we shouldn’t blame her. After all we do the same thing. Our culture has taught us that the purpose of the Messiah is to make our lives better. As a result, we also tend to treat Jesus like He is our wedding planner.
For example, consider your prayers. It is understandable why you would go to Jesus in prayer. Indeed, He wants you to pray; invites you to pray, “Come to me all you who are weary and burdened”.[4] You go to Jesus because you know He can help. I do not fault you for that, rather, I commend you for it. But now think about the content of your prayers. What is it that you pray for? If you are like me, you pray for health; the health of yourself and those who are near and dear to you. You pray for people; a family member who is sick, a friend who is being bullied, a neighbor who is lonely and sad. You pray for your daily bread and the blessings that come with it. You pray for peace; in your house, in your community, for all the world. You pray for wisdom and guidance to handle certain situations. You pray for patience (be careful of that one, patience is often built through suffering). You pray for strength. You pray for understanding. You pray for forgiveness. Does that sound right? Is that a pretty accurate sampling of your prayers?
These are the things we pray for and they are things we should pray for. God invites us to call upon Him in the day of trouble; and promises that he will deliver us.[5] I do not fault you for going to Jesus with these things. But did you notice what these things have in common? The thing that tends to dominate our prayers more than anything else is… “you”. Your prayers have “you” in common. Your prayers, my prayers, our prayers largely consist of pleas and petitions to make our lives and the lives of people around us better. We often treat Jesus like He is our wedding planner.
Now, Jesus was not offended by His mother’s request. One of the things on display at the wedding in Cana is how much Jesus loved His momma. He doesn’t snap at her. He doesn’t really rebuke her. Rather, He gently corrects her. 4 “Dear woman, why do you involve me?” Jesus replied. “My time has not yet come.” He addresses her with respect, but He does not call her mother. He calls her woman, reminding her that though she is His mother, He is her Lord. He speaks of His time, reminding her that though it was once her responsibility to direct the affairs of His life, He now follows a heavenly timetable set for Him by the Father. Mary understood. She tells the servants, “5 Do whatever he tells you.”
Jesus then does something no wedding planner could ever do. “6 Nearby stood six stone water jars, the kind used by the Jews for ceremonial washing, each holding from twenty to thirty gallons. 7Jesus said to the servants, “Fill the jars with water”; so they filled them to the brim. 8 Then he told them, “Now draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet.” They did so, 9 and the master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into wine.” And not just some watered down cheap boxed wine either. The Master of the banquet determined it was the “best; the most powerful, vigorous, excellent wine of all and there was now 180 gallons of it for the guests to enjoy.
Saint John tells us this was “11 the first of his miraculous signs, Jesus performed”. There would be more, many more. But with this miraculous sign Jesus reminded Mary, the disciples, and He reminds you and me that He is more than a wedding planner sent here to make our lives better. He is the groom. He is the groom who does not simply make our lives better but makes our salvation possible. He is the Groom who did more than change water into wine, He changed blood into bleach. Saint Paul tell us the Groom “25loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.”[6] Because of His great love and rich mercy that groom chose the church, that is all believers everywhere, to be His bride. Saint John writes, “2 I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, (He saw Mary and the disciples, he saw you and me, He saw all who believe in Jesus as their savior- He saw us) coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband.”[7] Jesus is more than a wedding planner sent here to make our lives better. He is the groom who has cleansed us from our sin and claimed us as His own.
Jesus is not offended by your prayers. He wants you to continue to come to Him with your pleas and petitions. But having now considered the events at the wedding in Cana, one of the things I hope to do and encourage you do as well is, I want my prayers, I want our prayers to be more about Him. We can continue to pray for blessings, but let us also glorify, magnify, praise, and thank Him. Let us remember that Jesus is more than a wedding planner; He is the Groom who has cleansed and claimed us to be His own.
With that in mind we pray, Glory be to the Father, and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning, is now, and will be forever! Amen.
[1] Luke 1:35
[2] Luke 2:49
[3] Luke 2:19
[4] Matthew 11:28
[5] Psalm 50:15
[6] Ephesians 5:25-27
[7] Revelation 21:2