What does love look like? If you had to draw out it’s dimensions, sculpt its substance, or paint its properties what would that look like? I’ll confess as a young man I had no idea what love looked like. I remember my sophomore year in high school there was this cute girl that I wanted to spend more time with. I was convinced that she would fall helplessly in love with me, if only properly wooed. I did what I saw men doing on television and bought her a beautiful bouquet of flowers. She held them in her hands like they were a dirty diaper. Her mouth said thank you, but her eyes said, “what am I supposed to do with this bundle of dead plants.” But I would not be easily deterred. I memorized a poem for her. “love not me for my comely grace nor for my pleasing eye or face for these may fail and turn to ill so thou and I shall sever. Keep therefore a true woman’s eye and know not why so thou hast reason, to love me still, forever.” Beautiful right? Yeah, she looked at me like I was a Shakespearean swindler. She explained to me that poetry was “not her thing”. Determined to win her heart, I refocused my energy. If poetry could not woo her surely music would. I figured if it worked for Barry Manalo… So I spent the better part of two months learning how to play a love song for my young vixen. Once I had it mastered, I began to play for her. And as my fingers danced across the ivories I started to sing, “I want somebody to share, share the rest of my life, share my innermost thoughts, know my intimate details. Someone who'll stand by my side and give me support and in return she'll get my support.” I was pouring my heart out, I almost felt sorry for her, the poor thing would no doubt be rendered powerless by my love song, I half expected to see her swooning in the corner. But as my fingers played the last cord and the song faded from my lips, I looked up at her expectantly, and she said, “yeah… that was nice, but I gotta go. I’m late for volleyball practice.” As she walked away, I sat there miserably dejected and hopelessly confused. Neither flowers, nor poetry, nor love songs seemed to have any wooing effect on this harpy of a woman. Clearly, I had no idea what love looked like.
As it turns out, I should have been a better student of my Bible. Today, in John 15:9-17 Jesus shows us what love looks like. Today, we are invited to look inside the empty tomb and see that it is full of love.
Last week's text is the background for this week’s sermon. Jesus has just finished encouraging his disciples to live fruitful and productive lives by using an illustration of a vine and branches. Jesus told His disciples if you stay connected to me like a branch is connected to a vine then you will be able to produce fruit; that is you will be able to live fruitful and productive lives. This week, Jesus highlights one of the fruits of the Spirit in particular. This is the fruit that in 1 Corinthians 13:13 Saint Paul calls "the greatest" of all the fruits of the Spirit. Paul says it is greater than hope and greater than faith. This greatest fruit of the Spirit that Jesus is highlighting today, is love.
In verse 12 of our gospel lesson for today Jesus says to you and to me, “12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.” And then again in verse 17 He repeats Himself, “17 This is my command: Love each other.” You kind of get the impression that Jesus is trying to tell us something here, right. You almost get the impression that we are supposed to love each other. But, what does that look like? What does this love we are to show each other look like?
Jesus answers that question with the word “as”. Jesus tells us we are to love each other “as” He has loved us. So all we have to do is look at how Jesus loved us to see how we are to love each other. In our gospel lesson for today, we see at least three ways Jesus loved us; He loved us unconditionally, He loved us functionally, and He loved us sacrificially.
In verse 16 Jesus shows us what love looks like when He says “16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last.” The love that Jesus has for us is an unconditional love. Jesus did not attach qualifiers, stipulations, or conditions to the love He showed us. He did not say if you do such and such I will respond in kind. Jesus did not wait until we came to some mutually beneficial terms before He decided to love us. Rather, He chose to love us, even when we did not choose to love Him. In Romans 5:8 saint Paul marvels at this love when he writes, “8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” In Ephesians 2:4-5 he marvels some more, “4 But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5 made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.” While we were still sinners, when we were dead in transgressions, Jesus chose to love us.
That’s not what love looks like to most people. We say things like, “when you start showing me some respect then I will treat you better.” “If you would help out around the house a little, I wouldn’t have to be such a nag.” “if that lady isn’t going to show me some gratitude, then she better not ask for my help.” And the ever popular, “he started it!” Our relationships are full of qualifiers, stipulations, and conditions.
Thankfully, that’s not what Jesus’ love for us looks like. Thankfully Jesus does not wait for us to be loveable before He loves us. Jesus chooses to love us even when we have not earned His love and do not deserve His love, and that my friends is how we are to love each other. Now, Jesus understands some people are hard to love. (I Imagine the Pharisees, Judas, Pilate were not easy people to love.) I would even say you don’t have to like someone to love them. But today Jesus commands us to love other people even when they have not earned our love; even when they do not deserve our love. We are to love them without qualifier, stipulation or condition. We are to love them as Jesus loved us. We are to love them, unconditionally.
In verse 10 Jesus shows us what love looks like when He says, “10 If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands and remain in his love.” The love that Jesus has for us is a functional love. Jesus does not buy us a bouquet or write us a poem or sing us a love song. Jesus does not get caught up in the feelings and philosophy of love, He is not content to discuss or describe love. Rather, Jesus expresses His love for us with actions. In Hebrews 4:15 Saint Paul continues to marvel at this love when he writes, “15 we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin.” In 1 Peter 2:22 Saint Peter does some marveling himself when he quotes from the prophet Isaiah, saying, “22 He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth.” Jesus honored His father and mother, He was helpful and kind to those in need, He respected women, He gave to Caesar what was Caesar’s, He took people’s words and actions in the kindest possible way, He urged spouse and workers to stay and do their duty. Jesus loved us with actions.
Again, that’s not what love looks like to most people. We get so caught up in the feelings and emotions of love. For us, love is almost this mysterious force that we are powerless to control. We act like love is nothing more than a burning in our loins or an appetite to be satisfied. In the beginning we say things like, “we fell head over heels in love.” At the end we say, “we just don’t feel the same way about each other anymore.” Often, love among us, is about feelings and emotions.
Thankfully, that is not what Jesus’ love for us looked like. Jesus resisted temptation and perfectly kept the commandments in our place. Jesus expressed His love for us with action, and that, my friends, is how we are to love each other. Love among us is to be an action, like a young mother and father bringing their baby to be baptized, like a sibling helping her sister look up a hymn in the hymnal, like a son caring for his momma in her old age, like a friend who sends a sympathy card to those who are suffering, like a person who watches a goldfish while their neighbor is on vacation. Among us love is to be more than feeling and emotion. We are to love each other as Jesus loved us. We are to love each other functionally.
Finally, in verse 13 Jesus shows us what love looks like when He says, “13 Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” The love that Jesus has for us is a sacrificial love. Jesus does not concern Himself with what He is going to get out of it. His wants and His pleasures are not the purpose and motivation behind His love. His love is not about self-satisfaction. Rather, Jesus sacrificed Himself for our benefit. In 2 Corinthians 8:9 Saint Paul is still marveling at this love when he writes, “9 For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich.” In Titus 2:14 he marvels still more when he writes, “14 [Christ] gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.” Jesus sacrificed himself so that we might become rich; so that we would be redeemed and purified.
One more time, that’s not what love looks like to most people. We tend to use love like it is a means to an end. Parents are obeyed in order to avoid punishments. Children are disciplined in order to avoid embarrassments. Wives are romanced for the promise of pleasure. Husbands are respected in the hopes they will take out the garbage. We listen to our friend’s problems just long enough that they feel compelled to listen to ours. Bosses are complemented to attain promotions and employees are trained to make our life easier. For us, love is often about self-satisfaction.
Thankfully, that is not what Jesus’ love for us looked like. Jesus paid for our self-satisfying sins, He redeemed us; purified us. Jesus sacrificed Himself for our benefit. And yes, my dear friends, that is how we are to love each other. Our love for each other is to be a sacrificial love. But let’s make sure we are sacrificing the right thing. Men, your woman does not need you to die for her. Jesus already did that. She doesn’t need another savior. But she probably needs someone who is willing to sweep the floor for her, maybe change a diaper or two, or just hit mute on the television for a few minutes. Ladies, your man does not need you to be Martha Stewart and Betty Crocker rolled into one. But he probably needs someone who will encourage him to stay positive, or support him in his decisions, sometimes all he needs is to be left alone. Parents, your children don’t need someone who is willing to spend long hours at the office so that they can have nice things. They need someone who will have a tea party with them, toss the ball back and forth, or listen to their rambling stories. Even outside the family, love takes the time to learn what other’s needs are and then it meets those needs. We are to love each other as Jesus loved us. We are to love each other sacrificially.
That, my friends, is what love looks like. Love is unconditional, functional, and sacrificial.
Oh, in case you were wondering what ever happened to that cute girl from my sophomore year, I finally figured out how to woo her. As it turns out what she appreciates more than flowers, poems, and love songs is, clean dishes, a sympathetic ear, and someone who can make her laugh. I eventually learned what love looked like and as a result I have spent 28 joy filled years with that cute girl. You see that’s what happens when you learn to love others as Jesus has loved you. It brings you joy. In verse 11 Jesus said, “11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.” Being mean, nasty, and ugly to people will never bring you joy. It might provide a sick satisfaction for a time, as you put them in their place or see to it that they get what’s coming to them, but it will never fill you with joy. But when you love as you have been loved; when you love people unconditionally, functional, and sacrificially, Jesus promises us there is a limitless amount of joy that comes from that. Therefore, let us joyfully obey our risen savior’s command to love one another as He has loved us. Amen.